April 24, 2012

Emotional Athyachar

A couple of days back while Adi and I were having a chat, I asked him 'Adi, what will you do if Mama is not there anymore?'. And he says 'I will take a knife and stab my heart'!!!! I ask why and he says 'Coz, I can't live without Mama'. GAWD!! Where's the kid learning this from?? Although it sounds nice when he says he can't live without me, I wish he was not thinking whatever he was. Need to do something about this and get him to start thinking that he CAN live without me.

There was a time when Adi kept asking us if we would die (this was about 2-3 years back when he realized that his Ajja had 'died' and not become a star). If we said yes, he would get very upset and if we said No, he wouldn't believe it and thought we were lying. He would keep telling us to eat healthy and keep exercising so that we don't die (cute to hear but for him it was a very serious matter) and live forever, along with him. Last year it got pretty bad and Adi would ask me every single night if I would die and then tell me not to die and that he couldn't live without me (same for his Dad as well). I would really worry and wonder how I could pacify him, comfort him and more importantly convince him that death is a part of life and unavoidable and that life goes on after that. I tried giving him various answers, including we will never die, but nothing stopped the worried questioning. And then one day, I told him 'Adi, after I die, I am not going to go away. I will continue to live within your heart. I will always be with you and love you'. I repeated this a few times and somehow Adi seemed consoled. After this answer, the 'death' question has hardly been asked so I guess its not worrying him anymore.

But now this knife in the heart business has kind of thrown me off balance. I am going to let some time go by and check for his response again - hopefully he wont be thinking the same anymore. Fingers crossed!!


Anonymous said...

Hmmm, maybe just a phase he is going through and that knife and stuff must definitely be a learning from the school or the bus or some cartoon ;) Like you said, check with him again in a day or 2 and see what he has to say. It sometimes is very tricky and difficult about what degree of truth to tell them and how!

Aparna said...

So cute! But yes, like you say, must have been a serious matter for him. I remember Damita going through something like this, when she heard about someone dying, and kept telling me not to.
The knife part though.. so filmy :) !