Every parent has their own unique memory of the first moments with their precious baby. For most it would be in the hospital when they saw their baby taking its first breath or heard its first cry or saw its first smile or when they held the baby close for the first time. For us it was at Mrs. Nomita Chandy's office at Ashraya.
It was 10th Jan 2006 and Mrs. Chandy had grilled us with some really tough questions for almost 30 minutes. After each question I wondered if what we said was satisfactory and if she found us worthy enough of becoming parents to one of the precious bundles at Ashraya. Strangely, both KG and I were very calm as though we already knew that this would be the day that our life would change. After what seemed eternity, Mrs. Chandy handed two sets of papers to us – they were the photographs of two babies along with their birth and background details - both were 4 months old. We went through both the documents without knowing what to look for - somehow the details didn't matter at all. To make it even more confusing, Mrs. Chandy suggested that we see both the babies and then take our decision. She wanted to know if we knew whom we wanted to see first (based on the papers) and both of us together said ‘No’ and asked her to let us meet any of the two. KG and I didn’t speak to each other during these moments but I kept thinking how could I ever decide between two children. When we had filled up our adoption papers, we had absolutely no 'special requests' on how the baby should look like, what features he should have or what religion or caste he should belong to - all we wanted was a healthy baby boy. As I kept thinking, one of the Ashraya's staff walked in with a tiny baby boy and placed him in my arms. However, even before I could have a proper look at the very sleepy looking boy, KG took him from me and held him in his arms and said 'we're taking him home'. When KG gave him back to me, the little one had a long look at me and then fell asleep. We had made our decision and did not want to look at the other child - I am certain he is now with a very special family.
Once we informed Mrs. Chandy that we would like to be Adi's parents, she let us have some time together all by ourselves. As most parents would like to claim, trumpets didn't blow and heavens didn't open up when I first held Adi. As he lay asleep in my arms, my mind, my body, my heart and my soul were all at peace and all I wanted to do was keep holding him and not think about anything else. In all the excitement, we did remember to take a few pictures to record our first time with Adi (we had already decided that our first born son would be named Adit) but I dont remember what KG and I said to each other during this moment - or even what we said to Adi. I dont think I said anything clever like 'you're so beautiful' or 'i love you' to him. The moment that we had waited for so long is all big blur to me now - I guess we just fumbled around making some inane conversation. After some time together, through out which Adi was fast asleep, we went back to check on the rest of procedures. It would take another week for the paperwork to be done and before Adi could come home but Mrs. Chandy said we could come to Ashraya anytime during the week so that we could bond with him, hold him, feed him, etc. We were asked to come back again the next day to take Adi for his medical tests and then we could take our final decision on whether we wanted to be a part of Adi's life or not.
I cannot really describe what we felt when we left Ashraya. All the years we waited, all that we wanted, all that we longed for was finally happening to us. We were going to be parents and we were going to have our own bundle of joy to love, to pamper, to take care of. KG was so emotional that he just stopped the car near a park close by - he could't drive. We got off and just held each other for a long time. We then called our parents to let them know that they were going to be grandparents to a lovely boy. To say that we were happy is an understatement. I think we were quite dazed the rest of the day and went about finding out if we could take some time off work from our respective office.
It was on the next day (11th Jan) that it finally hit me that I was going to be a Mommy and was going to be responsible for this tiny little being who was constantly smiling at me. We went to Ashraya early in the morning and when Adi saw me he gave me a big smile - as though he was waiting for me. We took him to Dr. Arvind Shenoy for his medicals and he took off Adi's clothes and made him lie down on his table - Adi looked so tiny, so innocent, so beautiful and so so happy. There he was without a care, grinning away at the doctor and goo gooing away. It was at this moment that I first felt the surge of motherly love. I wanted to hold him tight and tell him that he was mine and nobody else's. I wanted to tell him that I would love him with all my heart and more as long as I lived. I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. I wanted to make him laugh. I wanted him to come home right away to where he belonged.
We spent the rest of the day together going through the tests recommended by the doctor at Manipal Hospital. And every time he smiled at me or said something in his baby talk (he was talkative even then!!) my heart just overflowed with love. When he had to go for his blood test, I couldn't bear to see the needle poking his tender skin and sent him in alone with the nurse. When I went in after a few minutes, I saw him busy chatting away with all the nurses there - he was so happy that day. I bottle fed him (there was a lady from Ashraya who was accompanying us and who helped me with the feeding), spoke to him, held him, kissed him and just enjoyed being with him. From this day on my heart has just overflowed with joy, happiness and positivity. The hurt, the pain, the emptiness from the previous years was just wiped away, never to appear again. Adi changed my life completely - in a way I never dreamt of or thought was possible.
It was with a heavy heart that we left him behind at Ashraya - but we had no choice. The next morning (12th Jan), my Dad and I went back to Ashraya. Dad had travelled from Malpe the night before just to meet Adi. We walked into the compound and there were a whole lot of babies lying in the sunshine. And there was Adi in a blue sweater basking under the sun talking to himself and I pointed him out to Dad. I dont know why I remember this moment so clearly but its etched in my mind and when I think of these first days, this is the image that often comes to my mind. One of Ashraya's staff carried Adi and handed him over to us. Adi looked at me and smiled once again - by now he was already responding to my voice and I was already his Mama. My dad hugged him and had tears of joy in his eyes. He was holding his eldest grandson and was finally a Grandpa.
Radhika (our councillor at Ashraya) had told us that we could take Adi home on 16th Jan but KG's mom asked us to check if we could do it on the 14th since it was Makar Sankranthi and was an auspicious day. Unfortunately it was the 2nd Saturday of the month and Ashraya was closed on that day. She then asked us to check if we can take him the same day. Ashraya readily agreed and gave us a list of items that we would need for the baby (baby food, bottle, clothes, etc). It was already past noon and we had to get Adi home by 5 PM. I left Dad at our friend Kaushal's place in Indiranagar and Kaushal and I set off to The Baby Shop at Ulsoor to do some shopping. We just had an hour's time to shop. Kaushal was mom to a 6 month old baby boy and helped me with all that I needed. We bought a few basic stuff to get through the first few days and went back to her home. KG was at work and came straight to Ashraya. My dad and I reached there too at around 4 PM. Within 30 minutes we were on our way home - this time with our son. Mom gave some quick instructions to Dad to do the 'aarthi' as KG and I entered home with Adi. My dad managed somehow - dont think he had ever done it before!! :) That evening at home was one of the happiest ever - Adi was all laughter and talk. We just kept looking at him and kept smiling like lunatics. Our neighbours came by and showed us how to sterlize the bottle, mix cerelac and change diapers. I think our friends came by the same evening too. After a long evening, Adi fell asleep on the dining table. Since Adi's coming home on this day was totally unplanned, my Mom was not in Bangalore. But she and my grandma came the very next day to be with us.
Adi was home and somehow it felt that we were always meant to be together. Parenthood happened in a matter of few days for us, before we could fully comprehend the meaning of it. However, we embraced it completely and cherished every moment - the late nights, the nappy changes, the lack of sleep, everything. Almost 6 years have gone by and we still feel the same (although Adi manages to drive us up the wall at times!!). At night when Adi is asleep, KG and I still look at him and smile and feel so very fortunate. Adi has not only made us complete, he has also made us better persons. He has us wrapped around his little fingers and he means the entire universe and beyond to us. He is our baby, our love and our life.
And now for some pictures:
This is me as an 'expectant mom'. We had been informed a couple of days earlier that we could come to Ashraya on 10th Jan. I asked my friend Kaushal to take this picture of me - no big tummy, just a big smile :)
Adi in my arms, blissfully asleep.
On our way home - with our baby.
Adi very curious about everything that he is seeing outside the car.
Happy, happy, happy.
The rest of the pictures are after a couple of days. Feeding time - thankfully Adi was a no fuss eater - mostly!
My grand mom stayed with me for a month and taught me everything - including how to massage.
Papa's turn. KG was the 'night watchman' for almost 4 years! Thank you Darling!
Once we informed Mrs. Chandy that we would like to be Adi's parents, she let us have some time together all by ourselves. As most parents would like to claim, trumpets didn't blow and heavens didn't open up when I first held Adi. As he lay asleep in my arms, my mind, my body, my heart and my soul were all at peace and all I wanted to do was keep holding him and not think about anything else. In all the excitement, we did remember to take a few pictures to record our first time with Adi (we had already decided that our first born son would be named Adit) but I dont remember what KG and I said to each other during this moment - or even what we said to Adi. I dont think I said anything clever like 'you're so beautiful' or 'i love you' to him. The moment that we had waited for so long is all big blur to me now - I guess we just fumbled around making some inane conversation. After some time together, through out which Adi was fast asleep, we went back to check on the rest of procedures. It would take another week for the paperwork to be done and before Adi could come home but Mrs. Chandy said we could come to Ashraya anytime during the week so that we could bond with him, hold him, feed him, etc. We were asked to come back again the next day to take Adi for his medical tests and then we could take our final decision on whether we wanted to be a part of Adi's life or not.
I cannot really describe what we felt when we left Ashraya. All the years we waited, all that we wanted, all that we longed for was finally happening to us. We were going to be parents and we were going to have our own bundle of joy to love, to pamper, to take care of. KG was so emotional that he just stopped the car near a park close by - he could't drive. We got off and just held each other for a long time. We then called our parents to let them know that they were going to be grandparents to a lovely boy. To say that we were happy is an understatement. I think we were quite dazed the rest of the day and went about finding out if we could take some time off work from our respective office.
It was on the next day (11th Jan) that it finally hit me that I was going to be a Mommy and was going to be responsible for this tiny little being who was constantly smiling at me. We went to Ashraya early in the morning and when Adi saw me he gave me a big smile - as though he was waiting for me. We took him to Dr. Arvind Shenoy for his medicals and he took off Adi's clothes and made him lie down on his table - Adi looked so tiny, so innocent, so beautiful and so so happy. There he was without a care, grinning away at the doctor and goo gooing away. It was at this moment that I first felt the surge of motherly love. I wanted to hold him tight and tell him that he was mine and nobody else's. I wanted to tell him that I would love him with all my heart and more as long as I lived. I wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. I wanted to make him laugh. I wanted him to come home right away to where he belonged.
We spent the rest of the day together going through the tests recommended by the doctor at Manipal Hospital. And every time he smiled at me or said something in his baby talk (he was talkative even then!!) my heart just overflowed with love. When he had to go for his blood test, I couldn't bear to see the needle poking his tender skin and sent him in alone with the nurse. When I went in after a few minutes, I saw him busy chatting away with all the nurses there - he was so happy that day. I bottle fed him (there was a lady from Ashraya who was accompanying us and who helped me with the feeding), spoke to him, held him, kissed him and just enjoyed being with him. From this day on my heart has just overflowed with joy, happiness and positivity. The hurt, the pain, the emptiness from the previous years was just wiped away, never to appear again. Adi changed my life completely - in a way I never dreamt of or thought was possible.
It was with a heavy heart that we left him behind at Ashraya - but we had no choice. The next morning (12th Jan), my Dad and I went back to Ashraya. Dad had travelled from Malpe the night before just to meet Adi. We walked into the compound and there were a whole lot of babies lying in the sunshine. And there was Adi in a blue sweater basking under the sun talking to himself and I pointed him out to Dad. I dont know why I remember this moment so clearly but its etched in my mind and when I think of these first days, this is the image that often comes to my mind. One of Ashraya's staff carried Adi and handed him over to us. Adi looked at me and smiled once again - by now he was already responding to my voice and I was already his Mama. My dad hugged him and had tears of joy in his eyes. He was holding his eldest grandson and was finally a Grandpa.
Radhika (our councillor at Ashraya) had told us that we could take Adi home on 16th Jan but KG's mom asked us to check if we could do it on the 14th since it was Makar Sankranthi and was an auspicious day. Unfortunately it was the 2nd Saturday of the month and Ashraya was closed on that day. She then asked us to check if we can take him the same day. Ashraya readily agreed and gave us a list of items that we would need for the baby (baby food, bottle, clothes, etc). It was already past noon and we had to get Adi home by 5 PM. I left Dad at our friend Kaushal's place in Indiranagar and Kaushal and I set off to The Baby Shop at Ulsoor to do some shopping. We just had an hour's time to shop. Kaushal was mom to a 6 month old baby boy and helped me with all that I needed. We bought a few basic stuff to get through the first few days and went back to her home. KG was at work and came straight to Ashraya. My dad and I reached there too at around 4 PM. Within 30 minutes we were on our way home - this time with our son. Mom gave some quick instructions to Dad to do the 'aarthi' as KG and I entered home with Adi. My dad managed somehow - dont think he had ever done it before!! :) That evening at home was one of the happiest ever - Adi was all laughter and talk. We just kept looking at him and kept smiling like lunatics. Our neighbours came by and showed us how to sterlize the bottle, mix cerelac and change diapers. I think our friends came by the same evening too. After a long evening, Adi fell asleep on the dining table. Since Adi's coming home on this day was totally unplanned, my Mom was not in Bangalore. But she and my grandma came the very next day to be with us.
Adi was home and somehow it felt that we were always meant to be together. Parenthood happened in a matter of few days for us, before we could fully comprehend the meaning of it. However, we embraced it completely and cherished every moment - the late nights, the nappy changes, the lack of sleep, everything. Almost 6 years have gone by and we still feel the same (although Adi manages to drive us up the wall at times!!). At night when Adi is asleep, KG and I still look at him and smile and feel so very fortunate. Adi has not only made us complete, he has also made us better persons. He has us wrapped around his little fingers and he means the entire universe and beyond to us. He is our baby, our love and our life.
And now for some pictures:
This is me as an 'expectant mom'. We had been informed a couple of days earlier that we could come to Ashraya on 10th Jan. I asked my friend Kaushal to take this picture of me - no big tummy, just a big smile :)
Adi in my arms, blissfully asleep.
On our way home - with our baby.
Adi very curious about everything that he is seeing outside the car.
Happy, happy, happy.
The rest of the pictures are after a couple of days. Feeding time - thankfully Adi was a no fuss eater - mostly!
My grand mom stayed with me for a month and taught me everything - including how to massage.
Papa's turn. KG was the 'night watchman' for almost 4 years! Thank you Darling!
3 comments:
Awww! That was so beautifully wriiten P. Brought tears to my eyes, was almost as if I was there with you and reliving all those moments by reading this :) still tearing up! You guys are awesome parents and Adi is an adorable kid. God bless u all!! xoxoxo
No words come to me Poornima - I just have to echo what Simran has written.
Wonderful to read about it - Adi has that twinkle in his eye even in his baby photos :).
Wow Poorni Akka, you have really put down your emotions in words in such an apt way that I had tears rolling down...so beautiful...never really heard from any parent (except mine;)) how beautiful the whole experience is,and when the realization of actually becoming parents actually hits you....remembering how Adi looked when you brought him home and the snaps only remind me of how cute he really was as a baby with those BIG curious teddy bear eyes :D Truly both of you(you guys and Adi) are blessed to have each other and be a family together :) May this happiness never end :)
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