Reading this blog it may seem like I am a perfect Mom - but I am not. I absolutely love being a Mom and feel that motherhood has been the best ever phase in my life, but I also feel that I can be much much better at being a Mom.
Although I give Adi the freedom to do what he likes most of the times, there are times when I am very impatient with him and shout at him, forget that he is just a 6 year old boy and expect him to behave like an adult, make him do things that he wouldn't want to (just because I feel it's good for him) and the worst of all and the one which makes me feel very bad about myself and which I am desperately trying to stop - give him a couple of whacks when he doesn't listen.
I think I was the most patient with him when he was a baby and a toddler. All I did then was make him laugh. If he threw a tantrum, I would patiently wait until it passed. If he cried, I would gently calm him down. If he didn't listen, I would come up with inventive ways to make him listen and do what I wanted. If he misbehaved, I would scold him, but he never faced any consequence. I still do all this - but now I shout at him, hurt him and make him cry too - and this hurts me a lot because I have absolutely no memories of my parents scolding me, hitting me or making me cry. I dont think I hit him at all until he turned 4. And then I saw some friends of mine doing it and how it made their child behave immediately and I gave it a try - and it worked!! Of course, I don't hit him black and blue - it's just a whack on his back - but he ends up crying - mostly because of the shock rather than the pain I guess. And now its become a habit and I do it whenever I am really angry, sometimes involuntarily - and then when I think back, the anger is not justified at all. I could have handled it better, I could have remained calm, I could have managed without hurting my baby. I have to remind myself that he is just a child and he cannot be perfect - nobody is. The days I am definitely in the wrong, I do explain to him why I hit him and also apologize - and then there are days when he gets angry that I hit him and asks me to apologize!! I should have never gotten into this - never done it even once in the first place. I will regret it forever.
Since he turned 7 last week, I have promised myself that I will never ever hit him again. I will scold him if he misbehaves or doesn't listen, but I will not hit him. This is a promise I am going to try my very very best to keep.
A friend of mine posted this on facebook recently and I read the line 'Hands are not for hitting' and realized how true that was. I have printed this and stuck on my closet door to remind myself every single day.
Although I give Adi the freedom to do what he likes most of the times, there are times when I am very impatient with him and shout at him, forget that he is just a 6 year old boy and expect him to behave like an adult, make him do things that he wouldn't want to (just because I feel it's good for him) and the worst of all and the one which makes me feel very bad about myself and which I am desperately trying to stop - give him a couple of whacks when he doesn't listen.
I think I was the most patient with him when he was a baby and a toddler. All I did then was make him laugh. If he threw a tantrum, I would patiently wait until it passed. If he cried, I would gently calm him down. If he didn't listen, I would come up with inventive ways to make him listen and do what I wanted. If he misbehaved, I would scold him, but he never faced any consequence. I still do all this - but now I shout at him, hurt him and make him cry too - and this hurts me a lot because I have absolutely no memories of my parents scolding me, hitting me or making me cry. I dont think I hit him at all until he turned 4. And then I saw some friends of mine doing it and how it made their child behave immediately and I gave it a try - and it worked!! Of course, I don't hit him black and blue - it's just a whack on his back - but he ends up crying - mostly because of the shock rather than the pain I guess. And now its become a habit and I do it whenever I am really angry, sometimes involuntarily - and then when I think back, the anger is not justified at all. I could have handled it better, I could have remained calm, I could have managed without hurting my baby. I have to remind myself that he is just a child and he cannot be perfect - nobody is. The days I am definitely in the wrong, I do explain to him why I hit him and also apologize - and then there are days when he gets angry that I hit him and asks me to apologize!! I should have never gotten into this - never done it even once in the first place. I will regret it forever.
Since he turned 7 last week, I have promised myself that I will never ever hit him again. I will scold him if he misbehaves or doesn't listen, but I will not hit him. This is a promise I am going to try my very very best to keep.
A friend of mine posted this on facebook recently and I read the line 'Hands are not for hitting' and realized how true that was. I have printed this and stuck on my closet door to remind myself every single day.
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